The plane passed the date line. I felt like everything was back to yesterday.
Time is just a blurry definition that may never exist.
But all the details have changed.
Ears hurt because of the distance between air and ground.
The pictures that belong to yesterday still remain in the brain, passing by like wind.

I miss the evenings of Beijing, especially in the sunny days.
Wondering around, there were cheminies in distant places.
School boys jogging around a playground in a line.
National flags under sunshine.
Bare poplar trees.
Little bars along the streets.
Quiet singers with guitars.

Sometimes, certian words are not precious anymore because they are said too often.
Like love.
I always believe that great love can't be expressed with words.
or It is not deep enough.
Look back, everything is like an illusion.
Love the shadow of myself.
Love to be needed and accepted.
Love the desire to be understood.

I know about the world--if the world makes any sense at all,
I expected too much,
thought too much,
dreamed too much---
but I never really fell in love with it.
I just want to look for a permenant position for myself.
Live, to live among people.
Everytime when I wake up to face the sorrow of an empty morning,
and become lost and panic-stricken again,
I know it's time for me to do something.

The surface of the ocean is covered with dim white moon light.
I look at the ocean and get lost in thought.

Eason's song still resonates in my ears.
The last night in Cheng du before I came back to U.S., a friend sang it in a small quiet bar.
All the emotions got released along with the words
One of the best ways to express yourself is to sing your heart out.
like no one is around.


  1. The surface of the ocean is covered with dim white moon light.

    ^my fav :)

  2. Going back to yesterday...some days I wish I could, and others I'm so grateful for the future I live myself into.

    Another great entry! I love to enjoy your updates, writing and photography. Keep it coming!

  3. thank you darling for your lovely comment.i love how you write, seems like a song, or a lullaby.... x

  4. This is so, so amazing. There are lines, even complete sections of this post where I've felt that pang, that vacancy where I had no words because you took them straight from my head and heart and wrote them here. It's so amazing and magical and comforting to know that you and your words exist. Thank you so much.

    P.S. I just NOW realized you sent me a request on fb. I already have an account but I don't use the email address from my blog so I sent you a friend request instead. Just so you know, my initials are JJG. :)

  5. Emotion... Feeling... complex

  6. Please, share more stories about how you felt. This is exactly like how I feel because I know that when i flew last 3 years i will never really go back home again.

    I went back but it was never the same like before. Always anxious.

  7. This post was awsome, dear.
    The wqay you talk about love really makes me consider everything I had tought before. And when you talk about time.. Time is really one of te things that i ear the most.
    Keep updating, honey. You have such a talent.

  8. It is always not easy to go away from somthing...but you know...you are going to something new! that is better

    btw, thanks for your sweet comment)

  9. You create an entirely new universe with your words, beautiful...

  10. I can understand. What you said in your previous comment is just true and I just don't understand why we can't help it no matter how hard we try to entertain ourselves. Yet I always find people who love to stay away so much and never think back of home. Who is lucky, them or us?

  11. such great imagery. and you say im the one with the poetic soul...

    Love the shadow of myself.
    Love to be needed and accepted.
    Love the desire to be understood.


  12. You write with such emotion and elegance; thank you for visiting my blog so I could find yours...

  13. Love to live the way I do... beautiful